There are some days where a heavy bout of melancholy and sadness covers me, but there are some days (like today) where a feeling of cheerfulness and joy follow my trail. It’s days like these that remind me that life is worth living.
I really didn’t do much today. It started off like any day— waking up at an ungodly time after sleeping at an ungodly time. The first thing I do is use my phone, my crush and I having been on call the night prior (or early day…?), he’s the first thing I see and the first person I really talk to. Maybe that contributed to my happiness, we dunno, but the morning (or afternoon in this case) was looking up.
After that, I did some work and it reminded me of the feeling of purpose and fulfillment when you have something to do— a feeling I truly missed. I mean, all I did was mess around in Google sheets and, honestly, I don’t know how I’ll be any more useful beyond that, but I did have fun and I enjoyed having something to do that wasn’t doom scrolling through Instagram reels or even the godforsaken clock app.
Then, I took out my guitar from my mother’s room.
Now, I haven’t touched this guitar in years so I was actually really apprehensive to even try and play. Plus, I really don’t believe that I’m a musically inclined person, but it was fun trying something “new” or more like something I thought I would never try again. (Big shout out to my crush for being able to convince me to try out things I never thought I would try out before. I’m actually incredibly thankful for him because of this— we’ll touch more on that at later date— most likely in a different blog post.)
I also had to walk my dogs today. I’m not usually the one who walks them, but it was pretty relaxing. Though my dog is too strong for his own good and whenever he tugged on the leash, I would just follow and I would nearly trip every time but that’s alright. (I’ll give it a pass cuz he’s cute.)
Then, I went back home and bought some food for my sister and I to snack on. It’s a bit silly, but treating people I care about makes me incredibly happy so that added to my good mood as well.
My day isn’t actually over as I’m writing this— there’s still a few more hours before it really ends, but I wanted to write something just to get out of the feeling of writer’s block and because today is a pretty good day so why not document it? I also wanted to answer a question that I have never really thought about before, at least not enough: what makes a happy day?
It’s a very rhetorical question because the answer should be obvious. It’s a happy day because bad things didn’t happen or because good things happen— and being happy just means that your mood wasn’t swallowed whole by negativity. But I do think it’s much deeper than that, and that happy days are much rarer than a simple day that is merely good.
A good day can be ruined the second your mood sours, but a happy day stays as it is despite that, because you’re consumed by this unexplainable feeling of contentment and joy, much like how there are times where you feel unexplainable moments of depression and anxiety.
Feeling and the quality of what we feel in a day overrides anything that happens during that day. It’s a happy day because despite the fact I felt a tick of annoyance at having to do certain things, my mood doesn’t diminish. It’s a happy day because the negative thoughts can’t linger. It’s a happy day because we simply feel happy— and there’s no reason to need to justify it or to try and intellectualize our joy. Instead, leaving a day to just be contributes to what makes it happy.
You see, what dictates your actions and your choices in a day is not just logic, but how you feel and what you believe will happen during that day. If you woke up with the lack of happiness and your quality of thought lacks positivity, then a happy day is almost impossible to reach.
The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts - Marcus Aurelius
Your thoughts should be supportive despite the circumstances and should push you to make choices and act in a way that is positive for you and that’s what should make a happy day.
If you enable yourself to properly mix reality with joy and find a balance between both, you are able to break away from toxic positivity and drowning in negativity. Here’s a little reminder: repeated thoughts build your identity and beliefs, therefore they affect your life and your choices.
What makes a happy day is a lot about mindset and feeling— not exactly what happens before, during, or after.
Of course this doesn’t mean that there are no external factors (and that external factors can be completely ignored). After all, I believe that one of the things that makes a day happy is your interactions with the people that you care about.
We can’t deny that the people around us build us up or tear us down and that also applies to having a happy day. If you make the decision to surround yourself with people who care about you as much as you care about them, although it isn’t a guarantee that your day will be happy, it can help you have positive quality of thoughts.
I also believe that it’s easier to surround yourself with people who build you up instead of tear you down during days where you are happy (not only because you would most likely feel more confident in yourself but) because I’ve noticed that, during the days wherein I’m sad and upset, the more likely I am to want to isolate and be alone despite the fact I know it isn’t really going to help. Once I succeed in isolating myself, that isolation causes me to become more desperate for company, and the quality of company no longer matters— what matters is that company is there— which I believe is a toxic way to seek it.
Remember guys: desperation causes bad decisions and bad people to come into your life because it makes us put our guards down even for people who we shouldn’t really trust with our hearts.
I’d also like to touch on the things that actually happen to you. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I believe that a happy day is not defined but what happens before, during or after. However, having a happy day affects how we see the impact of the good things and bad things that happen to us.
During a happy day, a bad event won’t have the same impact it has on a sad day. For example, if my ice cream falls to the ground on a happy day, I’ll be upset but I’ll be able to move forward and still see positivity. However, on a sad day, I’ll see this event as a build up for more bad things to come— that I have bad luck and that it’s proof that the day isn’t good.
On the other end— on a happy day— good things only continue to act as support to your happiness. However, on a sad day, there comes doubt and anxiety over any good event because you anticipate something bad to happen after. You aren’t able to enjoy good things because the weight of your sadness drags you down.
After all of that yapping on what factors I believe make a happy day, I’m here to say that, in all honesty, what makes a happy day is dependent on each person. I do believe, however, that there is a factor that should always be met that defines a happy day and that’s that the day reminds you that life is worth living. That, beyond all of the things breaking down around you, there is a path being built for you— for you to be able to move forward. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Your quality of thoughts, the people that surround you, and the impact of things affect you all shift when you begin to have hope that there is a chance that everything will get better and that there is so much more worth to life than a day where sadness and depression consumes you. Not only will you be reminded that life is worth it but, hopefully, you will also be reminded that you are worth it.
So, what makes a happy day? A day that makes life worth a living.
Love, Mel.
Photo by Daniel Pintilei on Unsplash